She Said.....

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou

Could living apart save your marriage?

Here's the story of Marisol and Rob Simon. They met later in life. He has children and they both have homes. Neither seemed interested in moving in with the other so they decided to live apart. Naturally, this isn't an ideal situation for everyone, but it seems to work for them?

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, (so does not having to wash his dirty draws) What do you think?

Read the full article here.

So now what.....

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month and I have little doubt that this is one of the reasons Oprah Winfrey decided to air her interview with Gerald Imes, Monique's brother, on Monday. This is the same brother Monique accused of sexually molesting her as a child. To say the interview was uncomfortable to watch would be an understatement. Unfortunately sexual abuse is nothing new, studies have found that one in three women will be sexually abused during her lifetime and we've seen countless interviews with abusers and victims, but this one was, well, different. Maybe because sexual abuse between siblings is something we're not used to dealing with, as families tend to be tight lipped about these things. Imagine being the parent of both a victim and an abuser, two children who you love equally and want to see succeed despite their condition. But still, this interview was really difficult to watch. It seems Gerald Imes is still dealing with his demons and though I could feel the remorse for his actions toward his sister, I got the sense that he's still not sure what to do next. Not to mention the parents, who clearly still aren't sure what to make of the situation. It was evident they didn't quite "get it", when they implied that the only way the family could heal is if Monique, the victim, made a move.

If you missed the interview, watch it here.

While I think it was courageous for Mr. Imes and his family to come clean on national television and for Monique to give her blessing, I'm left thinking, so now what? Was he able to help us understand the inner workings of a molester's mind so that parents and caregivers know what to look for in a potential abuser? Will the interview encourage other families that are dealing with sibling sexual abuse to forward and seek help? Will his apology make it any easier for Monique to forgive her brother, assuming that she hasn't already? Who knows? What I do know is, I wish we would spend more time celebrating the stories of women (and men) who have overcome the pain of sexual abuse, especially those like Monique and Oprah who have taken it a step further and become examples of greatness. Perhaps if someone had spent the time working with Gerald Imes to heal the scars from his own abuse, things would have turned out better for the three children who fell victim to his abuse.

Or maybe I'm missing the point altogether. I'm interested to know what you think.

Rest In Peace.....

Dorothy Height
March 24, 1912 - April 20, 2010

"As more women enter public life, I see developing a more humane society. The growth and development of children no longer will depend solely upon the status of their parents. Once again, the community as the extended family will rekindle its caring and nurturing. Though children cannot vote, their interests will be placed high on the political agenda. For they are indeed the future."

GURU

July 17, 1966 - April 19, 2010

"I seek Sun, deceive none, for each one must teach one
At least one must flow and show the structure, of freedom
It's me Dunn, cause petty things we don't need 'em
Let's focus to create somethin' great, for all that sees them
They innocent, they know not what they face
while politicians save face genius minds lay to waste"

This Week on Cocoa Mode

On Sunday, thousands of immigrants, mostly Mexican, gathered on the national mall to demand the Obama administration get to work on Immigration reform. Among the protesters were a group of African American college students who stood in solidarity with their brown brothers and sisters, forcing many to ask if there's a common ground between the African American and Immigrant experience that needs to be explored and cultivated?

Speaking of Mexico, the crime in the northern border towns is out of control. According to reports, the drug cartels are terrorizing folks to no end. There's no doubt that money and greed are behind the madness, but some members of the Mexican congress also believe musicians and film-makers are to blame. Lawmakers have asked the Mexican government to consider making it a criminal offense to record or perform songs that glorify violence, drugs or trafficking. Hmmm, wonder if that would fly north of the boarder. We'll talk about it,

Plus...

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, creators of Black and Married with Children return to discuss their new movie, You Saved Me, plus we'll discuss how the founders of Black Marriage Day are trying to change the perceptions of Black love and family for the better. Tune into The State of Black Marriage on Cocoa Mode Thursday at 8:30am ET.

Quote of the Day

"Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity." - Will Smith

ISO....Two GREAT interns.

Cocoa Mode Presents.... is looking for an intern to assist in managing our growing multi-media empire. This is the perfect opportunity for college students interested in radio and new media programming, broadcast marketing and radio production.

Candidates must:

• Be reliable, organized and mature.
• Have excellent written and verbal communication skills.
• Be familiar with social networking tools including Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• Interested in women's issues specifically related to health and wellness.
• Reside in the Washington DC Metro area.
• Able to receive college credit.

Duties Include:

• Assisting with regular website, blog and social media updates.
• Researching topics and booking guests for Cocoa Mode.
• Work with Shawna Renee to develop grassroots and online marketing initiatives.
• Assist with developing and implementing radio and wellness workshops.
• Producing and uploading audio and video podcasts.

Interested candidates should email a resume and cover letter to Shawna Renee at shawna@cocoaomode.com.