Quote of the Day

"The deep cry of a woman's heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and remarkable and chosen. This is the core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. She, like God, asks, 'will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me?" John Elderedge, Wild at heart.

Why Do Black Fathers Abandon Their Children?

Happy Wednesday Folks. Over the weekend, I came around across this series of You Tube clips from MSNBC featuring a panel of African American athletes, leaders, authors and educators discussing the consequences of fatherless homes in the African American community. Though I applaud those who were brave enough to ask the questions, solutions are what we need. How do we save our boys, men, families and communities?






Click here for Part 3

Click here for Part 4

...and we're still together!

Remember this sketch from In Living Color? It's what first came to mind after reading the story of Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina. They hold the World Record for the longest marriage of two living people. They've been married for 85 years! Both are over 100 years old and admit that it hasn't always been easy but for them marriage was "till death do us part" - though Mr Fisher says "I did not know it would be as long as it is now". What I especially like about these two is that they've managed to maintain a sense of independence despite being together for so long. They attend different churches and I assume they both probably have their own hobbies and interests. Could that be the key to a lasting marriage? Or, maybe it's a matter of pure dedication and loyalty or perhaps, as they say, it's God. We'll find out what really takes to make marriage last this morning when I sit down with Ronnie and Lamar Tyler from Black and Married with Kids and open of the phone lines for the elders. If you've been married 30+ years we want to hear from you. 1-866-801-8255. See you on the radio.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...

Sorry ladies and gents...












Snowtorious B.I.G sent my wireless connection (and my cable ) running for the hills this week, and as a result I am way behind on my mission to infuse a bit of pre-Valentine's day amour into your daily routine.

Earlier this morning I happened across an interesting posting on Facebook. In response to a question about Valentine's day being too commercial a woman shared the story of her husband's refusal to do/buy anything on Valentine's Day, instead he "spoils" her on February 13th and again on the 15th, just to show that he doesn't need anyone (Hallmark) reminding him that it's time to "love his woman". Cute, and my point exactly.

So today, let's talk flowers.

Roses are red, violets are blue....

I blame this nursery rhyme and rose farmers worldwide for the multitudinous number of roses sold in flower shops, grocery stores and on street corners across the nation. Red, white, pink, yellow, they're everywhere, which is cool but how about surprising her (or him) with something different?

Why? Just because.

The best place to start is by asking your love what they like. If she/he says "roses", then go ahead buy the roses but if he/she/Shawna says something else, then off to the florist you go.

An experienced florist will work with you to choose the perfect bouquet for your sweetie. Now, I must warn you, she will try to sell you roses because they're at a premium this time of year, but don't be afraid to say no. Once you get that out of the way the florist will ask you more about the recipient, what type of flowers does she like? What's her favorite color? Is she conservative, quirky, trendy, etc? Armed with the necessary information, the florist will begin pulling, snipping and creating the perfect arrangement for your darling. If you're lucky you may even get the florist to deliver the flowers for you.

If a custom designed flower arrangement is out of your price range, I recommend you ask to see some of the already prepared bouquets and arrangements, they are often less expensive. If that's still out of your price range don't be afraid to head to the grocery store, many of the gourmet grocers offer quality flowers at reasonable prices. If you do decide to go that route, check out this link for tips on how to pick the right flowers.

O.K. ladies, let's not be selfish, men like receiving gifts too. While flowers may not be his thing, consider a plant. A cactus plant is perfect for the man who can remember every score in every football game he's watched since he was 5 but can't remember to water a plant. Money Plants and Lucky Bamboo plants are also perfect for men, and neither require a lot of effort or experience to stay alive.

If you're still stuck, ask your mom, I'm sure she can tell you exactly what to get, just remember to get something for her too!

Later lovers....

Day 2: Play another slow jam...

There are few things in life that bring me more joy than music. My love affair with music started as a young child sitting by the radio with my tape recorder pressed up against the stereo speaker waiting for my favorite song to play so I could add it to my DJ Shawna Renee "mixtape". As I grew older and began to develop an interest in boys, my interests in music moved beyond the normal Hip-Hop and Pop to the classic R&B tunes of Anita Baker, Luther Vandross and The Isley Brothers. Suddenly of the mixtape princess became the Queen of the Slow Jams tape, a title that I proudly carry to this day (thankyouverymuch). There's something about a good love song that takes an ordinary moment and turns it into an extraordinary memory. So as we move through our 20 days of love why not add a little music to the mix.


If you need a little help deciding what to include on your slow jams tape, let the Queen make a few suggestions....

Moments in Love - Art of Noise
Sweet Love - Anita Baker
Baby Come to Me - James Ingram
If This World Were Mine - Luther Vandross
We've Only Just Begun - Glenn Jones
No Ordinary Love - Sade
Through the Fire - Chaka Khan
Anytime, Anyplace - Janet Jackson
Ooo Ahh (Remix) Boys II Men
If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
Say Yes - Floetry

Be safe.

Day 1: Get Out. Washington DC Edition

Those of you who live in the Washington DC metro area know that there's no shortage of things to do around town. The challenge is trying to decide what your lady/man might enjoy. A good place to start is the Washingtonian Magazine, where you'll find a list of 158 great date ideas for everyone from the sophisticated foodie to the wanna be rock star. Here are a few that caught my eye...

For the Bohemian Poetry loving type: Bus Boys & Poets. A great place to hang out, have dinner and enjoy an evening of poetry and prose. Be sure to heck out the 11th hour Poetry Slam, the second Friday of every month, a guaranteed good time.

For the "I want to show her I'm cultured but my money is tight" type: The Kennedy Center, Millennium Stage offers daily free music concerts. From World Music to Classical, Hip Hop to local Folk acts, you'll find it all. Check out the Kennedy Center website for more information.

For the nightowls: Nothing says romance, like a moonlit monument. O.K maybe not, but if you've ever taken a late night walk on the National Mall you know how peaceful and beautiful it can be. What's better, is that there are now companies that offer pedicab (bicycle cab) tours of the monuments. If the weather's right, this is a great way to go.

For the "I can't keep my hands off him/her" type: Couples Massage. Shakti Mind Body Studio offers an annual Couples Massage Class taught by owner Faith Hunter and her long time beau "Dr. Drew". If you're looking to spice up your love life, then join them as they show you how to use massage as a way to open the heart, build communication and relax the mind and spirit. While you're at it, sign up for a yoga class or hot stone massage. (disclaimer - I teach and help manage this studio so I'm a little bias, but trust me when I tell you that it is one of the best in town.)

Now, for those of you who do not live in the Washington DC area, feel free to use the above suggestions as inspiration. I'm sure there are plenty of cafes, concert halls, monuments and yoga studios in your town that offer the perfect atmosphere for a little "everyday romance".

Until tomorrow.

20 Days of LOVE

So, yesterday I decide to pop into CVS to pick up a few things and as the automatic doors parted ways like two lovers torn apart by time, space and circumstances I quickly found myself wading knee deep in a sea of candy hearts, stuffed lions and tigers and bears (OH MY) and of course dozens of silk roses complete with fake me out plastic dew drops.

Ahh, ladies and gentleman, Valentine's Day is upon us.

Joy.

To be honest, I'm not really into Valentine's Day. For one, I really dislike roses, especially the red ones, and no matter how many times I say/write/scream this from the mountaintop, someone gets me a dozen red roses. Then there's the chocolate - the yucky melted dollar store chocolate that I receive with a smile and then immediately toss in the trash - I figure there's no need in me risking illness AND obesity. It's not that I don't appreciate the thought, it's that I know the thought didn't extend beyond the pressure my man felt when he looked up and realized it was 5:00 pm on February 14th and he was coming home empty handed. Not a good look. However, there are some couples that make a habit of celebrating love everyday, so when V-day rolls around, they just treat it like every other day and keep on doing what they do. Now, I recognize that to truly make everyday Valentine's day requires dedication, hard work and creativity. I can't help you with the first two, but what I can do is suggests some ways to show you sweetheart that you don't need no stinkin' Valentine's Day to show them how much you care. If you start today, I promise by the time 2/14 rolls around all she'll want to do is snuggle up on the couch and watch Charles Barkley wax poetic about LOVE and BASKETBALL.

So with that said....Let the games begin.